The Animal Clinic is open to only selected research cases.

It is from your applications that we select a few animal case studies.

Case Intake Forms:

The following form will help Dr. Quack extract basic information on your animal's case so that a "theoretical prescription" may be rendered.  By completing and sending in the form, you agree to the following terms:

1) Any prescription generated is merely a "theoretical prescription" and, if you use it, YOU shall take full responsibility for any outcomes.  You will not hold Dr. Quack or any of his agents liable.  You will not try these methods in humans without consult of a suitable physician. 

2) You fully understand that Dr. Quack is a quack, not a medical doctor or D.V.M.

3) You agree to keep all information Confidential unless authorized, in writing, for release by Dr. Quack -- understanding that this is his intellectual property, trade secret, and copyright material.   You understand that Dr. Quack will not release your personal information to other parties, but that he does often publish your case studies online with personal information redacted.

...That's it.  

Here's the application form:

The Case Intake Form

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