Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Quackery!

2) We review all cases presented and select the most suitable dogs. If backlogged, we can only take those cases of primary research interest. Generally, we prefer end-stage animals with widespread cancer metastasis -- the most difficult, near-dead, and impossible cases that your vet would figure for a gonner. Early stage cancer we give lower priority. The vital organ cancers and systemic ones are of stronger interest.

3) Within a couple days to a week, we'll get back to you by email or phone and probably ask more questions. If the center has enough information to go by, we might crank out a first prescription. Unless we have contacted you, presume we're backlogged or out of the office (it's a one-man show at this point).

OPERATIONAL STATUS:

Dr. Quack will usually keep his operational status posted right here, but, if you don't hear from him in a week, please accept our apologies.

THE LAB IS CLOSED TO ALL BUT INVITED DOGS DUE TO EXTENSIVE SITE TRAFFIC. OWNERS OF SICK DOGS ARE WELCOME TO FILL OUT THE ANIMAL CASE INTAKE FORM AS AN APPLICATION FOR CONSIDERATION. APOLOGIES FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO TEND TO THEM ALL, BUT THIS SITE CONTAINS AMPLE INFORMATION TO GUIDE YOUR EFFORTS.

TREATMENT TIMEFRAMES

Generally, if working the quackery right, it'll take about 1 month to significantly reverse a chronic condition that has been present for 1 year. So, if your dog has presented symptoms of cancer in the last year, figure a month on the medicine before seeing any remission trend. If the animal has suffered silently for 3 years before diagnosis, figure about 3 months. We tend to go in gentle at the start if there is no hurry, so it takes about 2 weeks before medicinal power builds up and you start to see a positive change.

Within the first week or so, you should start to see slight improvement in the overall animal. Within the first couple hours to days on the medicine, you may see some aggravation of the condition if the remedy was too stong. If that continues, you'll back off on dosing and contact us.

In the first few doses, we only go one dose at a time. Stop, wait, observe. We're looking for any change, positive or negative in the animal. Getting a feel for the medicine's impact and duration.

After one to three test doses, we'll usually determine a dosing schedule and methods more fine-tuned to the animal. You'll keep that up until observing no more positive reaction or a leveling off in the remission trend. Sometimes, we'll just stop and let the medicine fully run its course. Then, we'll restart dosing again at lesser or higher strength.

When in doubt, we always stop and refigure the course. As time passes and the animal improves, we do this much less frequently. Eventually, you'd follow up maybe once per year while still going to your regular vet.

Your cases become part of our archive -- some of which goes on-line.

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